Feeling as if you’ve lost everything
When I lost my husband to cancer May 2014, I was a counselor and had been for many years. During that time, I was very weary to be quite honest. I was Eric’s primary caregiver and with a large family, church life, a non-profit with three children still at home, I was really not at my best emotionally. The first year, there is a wall you kind of put up in yourself, not realizing it until later but once the first year went by, I stopped counseling and I felt as if I lost everything I held dear, husband, no longer a wife, facing an empty nest, without a position, in my mind, everything.
My heart was always to help those in need whatever their path but at this point, I needed the help. I took a break from counseling. I didn’t think I would go back because it is very important work however I knew I couldn’t give what was needed.
Transition
At the end of 2016, I started dialoguing with a finance coach, hired a cycling coach and had already been studying coaches and the conversations unintentionally. I was trying to determine what my next steps were which is what my finance coach was helping me with. He asked to see my resume so I sent it to him. He asked me to consider coaching others myself, and to be honest, I did know about coaching and I asked what is coaching? He being a great coach, said study it, then let’s talk and thus began my journey of coaching. I started with what I knew well, that was grief and transitioning at 50.
Coaching or Counseling
The simplest way to explain the difference between coaching and counseling is pathology. Counseling helps diagnose why you are struggling in your situation, which I am not minimizing but for examples sake, life or grief or both with coaching, helps move you forward. Forward to what can be the new possibility or a new dream or an old dream coming back to life.
Yes, there was a problem, a tragedy a situation but how can we move forward? A coach comes along side to help you help yourself move forward. A grief coach verses a counselor, especially if the coach has experienced loss themselves, understands that there are times you are sad, angry, discouraged, not wanting to face life but then helping you to see tomorrow is a new day, helps you wipe your tears and move forward. There is not a diagnosing but a support, with knowledge and experience and empowers you to move forward.
You’ve got this
Just after I started cycling I attended a camp Chris Carmichael runs, CTS, I did not know him before this camp but I was totally freaked out over a climb that was part of this training. It is called, Fig Mountain.I was about 400 meters from the first of three tops, for some of the others,this was easy but for me, it was difficult. I had not been riding for very long and I never wanted to quit something so bad as I did at that moment, my legs were burning and my body was on fire. I am sure Chris noticed this, he zipped down that hill to where I was, turned around, rode beside me and said, “You’ve got this, you’re amazing, just a little further.” Those words and his encouragement changed me, not only for that ride but for life. Just a little further, you’ve got this and his personal encouragement. I have shared that story over and over. He did not jump on my bike and carry me, he taught me to move forward when it was difficult and that is exactly why he is a great coach and leads a team of great coaches.
A coach helps walk through your story and as that story unfolds, a coach encourages you to get your dream back, to see we must be like the river and move with those things that change our stories.
