Get busy living or busy dying.
I recently watched the popular movie “Shawshank Redemption” for the first time (I know, I’m a little late to the party). In this film, a wrongly convicted man named Andy must overcome many incredible difficulties, after which he writes to a friend in a letter, “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” At that moment, Red has a decision to make: get busy living or get busy dying.
Do you know someone who is “busy dying”? Is that you? I think at times we can be overwhelmed with sadness or loneliness. We can even be married or have a significant other while still being lonely. However, we have a choice to let those seasons define our life and our daily choices or rise above the despair. I am here to help you move through the daily financial and life decisions that can either cause regret or can catapult you towards your positive goals. Sometimes all we need is to be understood and then encouraged to take the next step.
As you press on, hold on to hope. It’s a good thing, but it can be difficult to come by. I should know.
Small wins
As I mentioned in my past blog post, we tend to make better decisions when grounded in truth and reality. So how did I get to the point where I could clearly see the situation before me? How did I find my way after making so many wrong decisions? How was I able to change, reinvent my life and career, and grow in better financial wisdom and better decision making?
After much trial and error, I realized that I had to figure out how to establish my life around my new values as a single individual and work through my emotions of grief, without letting those emotions negatively affect the choices that shape my future. I discovered that everything I did, including every action and every decision, was either moving me away from my goals or moving me toward them. I learned how to make tiny, daily, even sometimes minute-by-minute decisions towards my larger goals of managing the money I did have, making good decisions, increasing my income, spending wisely, investing automatically and giving generously. Making those decisions really set the ground stage for learning to trust myself as an independent single. I had to face the reality of the fact that I am single and alone and that there is no Prince Charming who will rescue me. And if there is a prince at some point, I won’t have to depend on him for my future, and he will not be the answer to my problems, nor yours.
I decided to move in the direction of becoming that which I so desperately needed, although I did not realize it. I worked hard at understanding and changing my own personal finances and organization. I started a business, Nifty Package Co, which is a Corporate Gift and Gift Wrapping Company for A-list celebrities and large corporations such as the NCAA and Too Faced Cosmetics. Nifty gave me the ability to have flexible hours, to develop my social media marketing skills, and to hire other women with diversity in age, wisdom and creativity. I also teach an online class for widows, widowers, and divorcees, and I still have a non-profit for widows, which is a micro grant program to help them learn or grow in their personal passions and skills in order to create income. I trained in executive coaching, became certified on a national scale, and passed the California life, health and disability exam so I could help others navigate and decrease costs of their insurance. I also became a Certified Financial Transitionist, CeFT© to help others make good emotional decisions and am now on the path to becoming a full advisor.
I did not use my age as an excuse not to grow and change. I actually knew a lot of amazing things going on in our world that were started by those who were over 50 and had become quite successful. For example, AARP has an incredible article on those who are famous instagrammers and influencers all over 50. You will always be able to find something about yourself that could be considered a disadvantage. But if you look for them, you will always be able to find individuals who are willing to look their difficulties in the face, break all boundaries, and exceed expectations.
I encourage you to decide who you want to be, then make small tiny decisions towards your goals and develop your trust in yourself with small tiny successes. I do think we should deal with reality and make changes accordingly, but I totally believe in having as much fun as we can on the journey and celebrating any small wins. Eventually, those tiny wins will add up into big achievements and fulfillment of your goals.
So hold on to hope. It’s probably the best thing. Hold on and get busy living.
